A new me...

Over the past few years i have been almost away from writing,  had less emotions when i wanted to write about love, i believed in fairytale kind of love always... but as life happened it didnt turn out like that... from now on i will be sharing everything except love !! 

Dil ibadat............

Dil ibadat kar raha hai Dhadkanein meri sun
Tujh ko main kar loon haasil lagi hai yehi dhun
Zindagi ki shaakh se loon kuch haseen pal main chun
Tujh ko main kar loon haasil lagi hai yehi dhun

My heart is praying, listen to my heartbeats
I should get you, only that's what I want
From the branches of life I should pick some beautiful moments
I should get you, only that's what I want

Jo bhi jitne pal jiyun Unhe tere sang jiyun
Jo bhi kal ho ab mera Usse tere sang jiyun
Jo bhi saansein main bharun Unhe tere sang bharoon
Chahe jo ho raasta Usse tere sang chaloon

Whatever moments I live, I should live them with you
Whatever is my tomorrow now, I should live it with you
Whatever breaths I take, I should take them with you
Whatever be the path now, I should walk it with you.

Mujhko de tu mitt jaane ab se khud dil mil jaane
Kyun hai yeh itna faasla
Lamhe ye phir na aane Inko tu na de jaane
Tu mujhpe khudko de lutaa
Tujhe tujh se tod loon Kahin khud se jod loon
Mere jismo jaan mein aa Teri khushboo odh loon
Jo bhi saansein...

You let me end, let my heart merge into you
Why is there so much distance
These moments won't come again, don't let them go
You sacrifice yourself onto me
I should pluck you from yourself, add to myself somewhere
Come to my body and soul, I should cover myself with your scent
whatever breaths...

Bahaon mein de bas jaane, Seene mein de chhup jaane
Tujh bin main jaaun to kahan
Tujh se hai mujhko paane, Yaadon ke woh nazraane
Ik jinpe hak ho bas mera
Teri yaadon mein rahun Tere khwabon mein jagun
Mujhe doondhe jab koi Teri aankhon mein milun
Jo bhi saansein main...
Let me live in your arms, Let me hide in your chest,
Where else can I go except you,
From you only I have to get those gifts of memories
that are only mine.
I should live in your memories, I should wake in your dreams,
When someone looks for me, I should be found in your eyes..
Whatever breaths I..

Baaton ko teri, Hum bhula Na sake....

Baaton Ko Teri, Hum Bhula Na Sake
I’m not able to forget Your talks (the conversation I had with You/the time I spent with You)
Hoke Judaa Hum, Na Judaa Ho Sake
Even after being separated, I’m still not separated (from You)
Dil Mein Hai Zinda, Har Ghadi Tu Kahin
You are still alive in my heart someplaceHoke Judaa Hum, Na Judaa Ho Sake
Even after being separated, I’m still not separated
Kitni Chahat Hain Dil Mein, Tu Jaane Na
You don’t know what amount of love still resides in my heart (for You)
Kaise Dil Ko Samjhaye, Dil Maane Na
How should I persuade my heart, it doesn’t heed to me
Baaton Ko Teri, Hum Bhula Na Sake
I’m not able to forget Your talks
Hoke Judaa Hum, Na Judaa Ho Sake
Even after being separated, I’m still not separated
Dil Mein Hai Zinda, Har Ghadi Tu Kahin
You are still alive in my heart someplaceHoke Judaa Hum, Na Judaa Ho Sake
Even after being separated, I’m still not separated
 Meri Tamannaon Ka, Ehsaas Tum
You’re the realization of my dreamsMain Kahin Bhi Rahun, Mere Aas-Paas Tum
Wherever I am, You’re always around meKhuda Jaane, Khuda Jaane, Khuda Jaane…
Only God knows (why)
 Ek Pal Bhi Tumse Door Jaa Na Sake
I couldn’t go away from You even for a moment
Hoke Judaa Hum, Na Judaa Ho SakeEven after being separated, I’m still not separated
Dil Mein Hai Zinda, Har Ghadi Tu KahinYou are still alive in my heart someplace
Hoke Judaa Hum, Na Judaa Ho SakeEven after being separated, I’m still not separated
 Baaton Ko Teri, Hum Bhula Na Sake
I’m not able to forget Your talksHoke Judaa Hum, Na Judaa Ho Sake
Even after being separated, I’m still not separatedDil Mein Hai Zinda, Har Ghadi Tu Kahin
You are still alive in my heart someplaceHoke Judaa Hum, Na Judaa Ho Sake
Even after being separated, I’m still not separated
 Ajnabi Silsila Mere Saath Hai
A strange chain of events is occurringBheed Mein Tanhaayi Ka Ehsaas Hain
Even while I’m in a crowd, I feel lonelyKhuda Jaane, Khuda Jaane, Khuda Jaane…
Only God knows
 Yaadon Ko Teri, Hum Mita Na Sake
I’m not able to erase thoughts about YouHoke Judaa Hum, Na Judaa Ho Sake
Even after being separated, I’m still not separatedDil Mein Hai Zinda, Har Ghadi Tu Kahin
You are still alive in my heart someplaceHoke Judaa Hum, Na Judaa Ho Sake
Even after being separated, I’m still not separated
 Baaton Ko Teri, Hum Bhula Na Sake
I’m not able to forget Your talksHoke Judaa Hum, Na Judaa Ho Sake
Even after being separated, I’m still not separatedDil Mein Hai Zinda, Har Ghadi Tu Kahin
You are still alive in my heart someplaceHoke Judaa Hum, Na Judaa Ho Sake
Even after being separated, I’m still not separated

let it all out...

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C. S. Lewis

Another year over and you’re still troubled by a relationship that ended last year or in years past. The whole thing is dragging on too long—why can’t you just get over it? But every time you think about it or bump into your ex, you feel ruined again

How about giving your feelings another shake?

Rattle them in any direction—a new one. If it turns out to be the wrong direction you can correct that later, but just move them, any which way, get them out of the rut they’re in. One way to do this is by talking it through, even more than you already have.

Why Talk it Out?

Perhaps something remains unsaid for you, even now. Perhaps that’s why your feelings remain so strong. Or perhaps they’re entangled with non-relationship issues—a sense of getting older, time passing, concern about not having children, or the life you hoped for.

Perhaps part of you holds out hope you could get back together again. Perhaps you need to admit that and let go of it.

Maybe you fear you won’t meet anyone else like your ex. You won’t, but you will meet someone. Just they will be different.

Explore all this.

For the year after the breakup you would get on okay with life, but the shine had gone. A veil would hung between yourself and true engagement with the world. you would smile but the smile will never go to your eyes.

you would honestly think that you had done all the talking you could at the time of the breakup—but after months later, something still would feel stuck in your chest, you should sit down in front of  someone who would listen to it no matter how many times you repeat it,  you would want to feel like it, but suddenly all the stuff will come out of your mouth—stuff you found laughable or which fell away as you say it, stuff you didn’t know you had been thinking. Apparently, it just would want to get itself off your chest. And it had needed a year to mature sufficiently to do it. talk endlessly it will help you realize that you were over the relationship, even if its not the process of its ending, 

you might have suffered a lingering childlike shock that such things could happen in life. Discovering this, and finally putting words to it, allowed those feelings to go.

just need to let it all out over and over again !!

If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed By Emotion

You’ve just bumped into your ex and you’re feeling highly emotional. Half of you wants to cry, half of you would do anything to get rid of those feelings.

This is your mind panicking to get rid of emotions it cannot understand. The mind likes to understand things but can never understand the heart. Hearts have no logic.

So, abandon trying to comprehend what happened or why. After all, at this stage, is there anything your ex could say or do that would change how you feel?

Befriend the part of you that gets emotional. Don’t beat it up. It’s normal and healthy to feel how you feel. You’re alive!

Besides, emotion shows you have a heart and would not wish the same sorrow on others. This aspect of your personality is to be treasured. Wouldn’t you love it in anyone else?

So, instead of trying to quash emotion, ask “Is it possible for me to feel like this and still be okay?” Because your heart is stronger than you know; it is designed to handle being broken.

It Has Been Long Enough Now!!!!

People may tell you it’s time you got over your relationship. Like with bereavement, you don’t ever have to “get over” it, but you may need to more forcibly move yourself on, and if you’re stuck, to take a new approach to doing so.

Hurtful experiences, ones that emotionally and logistically reset our lives, leave us with two choices: open up more or close down.

The braver choice—the one that will allow new things to enter your life—is to open up.

So how about setting aside a few weeks to unfold this a little more? If you can’t climb out, dig out. talk about it, to people who genuinely listens to you,  whether or not you feel like it or think it will help.

Go in, sit down, see what happens. Give your heart the chance to say everything it wants regarding the relationship and whatever is entwined with it. What emerges may surprise you.

Give yourself a new and different opportunity to leave it behind.

There is One Person we’ll Never get Over.

There Is Always One Person In Our Lifetime We Can’t Seem To Get Over.

Even long after the relationship dies and all connections perish, this person stays alive in our consciousness.

It’s not like we spend our entire day fantasizing about them or reminiscing. It’s not like our lives stopped when they left it. It’s not like we haven’t moved on—we might even be building a relationship with someone new.

But this person’s existence is like an alarm clock that rings every once in a while. They’re like the mud that resides at the bottom of a glass—if stirred, it instantly fills the calm water.

Any object, sound, taste or smell related to them, can make them cross our minds again.

If our eyes met, we would still see the same colors and patterns we used to. The smell of their breath and skin would still linger at the end of our nostrils. The comfort they made us feel is undeniable and the exhilaration they brought about is irreplaceable.

They seem to live in us even though we don’t want them to. They’re like a plant that keeps growing when we don’t water it. A cloud that keeps on reappearing when it’s sunny.

And their memory isn’t always welcome. Sometimes, it is penetrating, wretched.

What’s even more agonizing is how our world turns upside down when they reach for us. The mixed emotions they inflict on us are enough to prove how they still controls every single piece of us—and not in a good way.

We know, deep down, if this person wants to meet—or heaven-forbid, run away with us—we wouldn’t hesitate. “No” seems to be the toughest word to say to them. We’d step on our pride, our pain, our strength, just to make it to them.

But we don’t admit this to anyone—we’re even ashamed to say it to ourselves. What kind of irrational person would still be hooked on someone who doesn’t really care about them?

They can never become strangers or mere faces we used to know. They will always be the home in which we felt most comfortable. They’re our shelter, our nature, our universe—everything we have ever known and every planet we’ll ever orbit.

Looking at them is like reading through the words in our journal. They are the pages that contain our joy, our foolishness. They are the box below our bed that knows our secrets, strengths and weaknesses.

We want to get over them. We want to wake up one morning and pretend they don’t exist. We want to look at them as we would look at any other living thing.

And the reason why we’ll never get over them is because they got over us.

It’s like a sickening psychological game that seems to have no end. Unconsciously, we wanted them so badly because they didn’t want us with the same intensity. Maybe they were already over us while they were still with us. Maybe they were never into us in the first place.

We come up with a million different reasons why they don’t feel for us what we feel for them. Why they left when they could’ve stayed. Why they didn’t reconcile when we were ready to take them back.

Worse than the reasons are the excuses we create for them—and we are so damn good at it. But these excuses are nothing but a solace to our bruised self.

Perhaps, one day, we will stop these lies. We will accept that this person is over us. We can keep lying to ourselves and repeating the buts and whys. We can keep knocking our head against a wall, or we can face the truth.

It will hurt. But, as we know, for a wound to be mended, we must have enough courage to handle the pain and stitch it back together.

It’s tough to admit that this person is over us. But, if we do, we might just get over them. Maybe it won’t be until we’re older. One day their alarm clock will go off in our minds, and we may just smile.

While healing may never feel complete, we must keep working to get there. And if we can’t completely eradicate the lies we tell ourselves, then we just have to live with them until they expire on their own accord.

Time is often the greatest healer, but the one that’s even better is genuine love. Love that shows us what it means to stay.

Because just like some people are good at leaving, others are good at staying. And maybe when we find the people who stay, we will finally get over the ones who left.

Untill you.....

 Until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex; But eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, Stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories and make peace with them. 

I thought....

Our hearts kept it simple.

I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once. I don’t really know when it exactly happened, but somewhere in between our intense eye contact and wiping my tears away as my walls came down that I spent years crafting, I crashed into you fully and never looked back.

My heart was unguarded, and I gave you all of me. We didn’t just hang out. We played. Our souls were alive – we were like two little kids again seeing the world for the first time – being with you multiplied all the good in life and changed me forever.

But our minds were another story.

We were complicated people, you and I. We weren’t simple. Our minds were analytical and imaginative and we thought about everything.A lot. We ended up making every situation in our life about 100x more difficult than it had to be.

We argued a lot. I fought with you at inopportune times, but my anger was fueled by my passion and emotions for you. I cared. I loved you. I loved all of you. I loved that I was the only one you showed certain parts of yourself to, you gave me all of you.

I wiped your tears as you spoke about your family, there’s nothing in this world I loved more than holding your hand and whispering words of reassurance in your ear, because I knew you weren’t broken, you were just bent. And I loved all your edges, all your roughness. Your imperfections were perfect to  Me.

I Challenged you because I loved you.

I confronted you a lot. I’m not the type of girl who nods and laughs and is always comfortable, I wasn’t easy — as in, I didn’t just “go with the flow.” But that’s because I craved more from you – I had opinions and big dreams for the future, I wanted the best for you. I never put up with not getting everything I deserved.

I never let you get away with slacking on your talents or putting in effort towards our relationship because I knew what we had. And you were never left uninspired or unsatisfied.

You broke my heart.

Not too long into our magic, things started to turn. The fireworks combusted, leaving us burned and confused. We wanted it so badly that we thought there was a logical solution to working out our differences. But there wasn’t.

The truth is, you just weren’t ready. Your past, your demons, whatever the reason was, you started to push me away. You loved me in a way I have never been loved but you still weren’t ready. And that was the hardest thing to accept.

I knew I had to let go. Because you never ever have to convince or inspire someone to do the work to be ready.

There are many things I never thanked you for.

I thought I couldn’t live without you, but my heart is finally starting to beat again. You broke my heart open and new light got in, you made me so desperate and out of control that I had to transform my life, and I did.

I thought I would grow old with you, but sometimes, life has other plans. That doesn’t mean I ever stopped loving you. When someone touches your heart, they will infinitely be there.

I had so much anger and pain, it was gnawing away at me, slowly destroying me. But then I realized that our love wasn’t the kind that results in the fusing of two lives into one, it was the kind of love that gave me new life, that taught me much more than a happily ever after ever could. And I don’t regret a second of it.