“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C. S. Lewis
Another year over and you’re still troubled by a relationship that ended last year or in years past. The whole thing is dragging on too long—why can’t you just get over it? But every time you think about it or bump into your ex, you feel ruined again
How about giving your feelings another shake?
Rattle them in any direction—a new one. If it turns out to be the wrong direction you can correct that later, but just move them, any which way, get them out of the rut they’re in. One way to do this is by talking it through, even more than you already have.
Why Talk it Out?
Perhaps something remains unsaid for you, even now. Perhaps that’s why your feelings remain so strong. Or perhaps they’re entangled with non-relationship issues—a sense of getting older, time passing, concern about not having children, or the life you hoped for.
Perhaps part of you holds out hope you could get back together again. Perhaps you need to admit that and let go of it.
Maybe you fear you won’t meet anyone else like your ex. You won’t, but you will meet someone. Just they will be different.
Explore all this.
For the year after the breakup you would get on okay with life, but the shine had gone. A veil would hung between yourself and true engagement with the world. you would smile but the smile will never go to your eyes.
you would honestly think that you had done all the talking you could at the time of the breakup—but after months later, something still would feel stuck in your chest, you should sit down in front of someone who would listen to it no matter how many times you repeat it, you would want to feel like it, but suddenly all the stuff will come out of your mouth—stuff you found laughable or which fell away as you say it, stuff you didn’t know you had been thinking. Apparently, it just would want to get itself off your chest. And it had needed a year to mature sufficiently to do it. talk endlessly it will help you realize that you were over the relationship, even if its not the process of its ending,
you might have suffered a lingering childlike shock that such things could happen in life. Discovering this, and finally putting words to it, allowed those feelings to go.
just need to let it all out over and over again !!
If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed By Emotion
You’ve just bumped into your ex and you’re feeling highly emotional. Half of you wants to cry, half of you would do anything to get rid of those feelings.
This is your mind panicking to get rid of emotions it cannot understand. The mind likes to understand things but can never understand the heart. Hearts have no logic.
So, abandon trying to comprehend what happened or why. After all, at this stage, is there anything your ex could say or do that would change how you feel?
Befriend the part of you that gets emotional. Don’t beat it up. It’s normal and healthy to feel how you feel. You’re alive!
Besides, emotion shows you have a heart and would not wish the same sorrow on others. This aspect of your personality is to be treasured. Wouldn’t you love it in anyone else?
So, instead of trying to quash emotion, ask “Is it possible for me to feel like this and still be okay?” Because your heart is stronger than you know; it is designed to handle being broken.
