For long, I thought that i’m smart enough to handle all relationships. I never wanna make anyone disappointed or feel annoyed talking with me. On the other hand, I dun wanna make me feel irritated either.
But there’s some stupid thing that makes me very upset. Something relates to the corner of myself. Stupid me. I thought I could share some dark side of my life with someone, a bit. I thought they would keep it as a secret box between me and them. I thought I could lean on them when I am deep down in depression, confusion, worry….
Is it too hard for them just to listen to me then stop shouting out loud that i have resorted to them? Is it too hard for them just to keep silence? Just to be with me in the shade of life. Just not to let the whole world know that I need them sometime.
Guys, they r just so selfish. They always want to "publicize" things I told them, things i share with them, things that I admitted I couldn’t hold back, couldn’t control.
They wanna act out as if they r the master. Excuse me! You don’t understand any bit of myself. However, I know it. I know why they wanna be the master of the game. I beg your pardon, mr. big-shot master, take a look at urself. Don’t try to show ur care to me like a dog barking out loud.
Anyway, I never lose faith to love, to true friendship, to my belief in human emotion. I just need to be more careful.....
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